Breaking the Mask: How Toxic Masculinity Hurts Men's Mental Health

Unfortunately, many stereotypes about therapy and mental health remain, especially when it comes to men. Why? Because asking for help is seen as weak. Because vulnerability is still taboo for men. Crying? Mocked. Therapy? “Not for real men.” But here’s the cost: 1 in 5 men in the Americas won’t live to see their 50th birthday, according to the Pan American Health Organization (PAHO) which links many of these early deaths to harmful masculine norms, like risk-taking, emotional suppression, and avoiding healthcare.

Science backs this up. Research from the American Psychological Association (APA) shows that men who rigidly follow traditional masculine roles—emotional control, dominance, and self-reliance—are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and suicidal thoughts. Emotional suppression isn’t strength. It’s silent suffering. In fact, in a study of young South African men and how they think about suicidal behavior, a participant said, "I'd rather die than look soft." That’s not just a quote. That’s a crisis.

Be a Man: The Mask We’re Told to Wear

From a young age, many men are taught that to be a man means to be stoic, self-reliant, and emotionally reserved. Phrases like “man up,” “boys don’t cry,” and “deal with it” might seem harmless, but they carry a deeper message—vulnerability isn’t masculine, and feelings should be buried, not expressed. The constant pressure to be strong, no matter what, can be suffocating.

This socialization leads to a phenomenon known as "toxic masculinity," which encompasses harmful behaviors and attitudes such as emotional repression, dominance, and aggression. While not all aspects of traditional masculinity are harmful, when these traits are exaggerated and rigidly enforced, they can have detrimental effects on men's mental health, according to research published in the International Journal of Psychology.

Men socialized to conform to these ideals may experience increased psychological problems, including depression, stress, body image issues, substance use, and poor social functioning. This effect is more pronounced when these traits are exaggerated and rigidly enforced.

Traditional Masculinity and Other Myths

The myth of the "self-made man" is pervasive in many societies. This narrative glorifies independence and self-sufficiency while stigmatizing help-seeking behaviors. Men who adhere strongly to traditional masculine norms are less likely to seek preventive healthcare services. A study published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior found that men with strong beliefs in traditional masculinity were half as likely to receive preventive care compared to those with more moderate beliefs.

This reluctance to seek help extends to mental health services. The stigma surrounding mental health issues, combined with the pressure to conform to traditional masculine ideals, creates a barrier for men to access the care they need.

The Science of Suppression

Emotional suppression, or consciously avoiding or concealing feelings, is a coping strategy many men adopt, especially when socialized to conform to traditional masculine norms. While this approach may seem effective in the short term, research reveals that it can lead to significant mental health challenges.

Studies consistently show that men who suppress emotions are more likely to experience psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, and stress. A meta-analysis published in Emotion found that greater emotional suppression is associated with poorer social well-being, including negative first impressions, lower social support, and poorer relationship quality. Additionally, the perception of depression as incompatible with masculinity leads many men to avoid acknowledging their symptoms. This reluctance to seek help results in delayed diagnoses and untreated mental health issues.

Consequences

Suppressing emotions may offer short-term relief, but over time it often leads to unhealthy patterns that affect both individuals and their relationships.

The long-term effects of emotional suppression can be both psychologically and socially damaging. This coping strategy, especially when shaped by traditional norms of masculinity, can undermine mental health, encourage harmful behaviors, and erode relational bonds. Greater emotional suppression is significantly associated with poorer social well-being, lower social satisfaction and quality, and poorer romantic relationship quality, according to research.

The avoidance of emotional expression can lead to maladaptive coping mechanisms. Men may resort to substance use, aggression, or risk-taking behaviors as outlets for unexpressed emotions. These behaviors not only harm the individual but can also strain relationships and contribute to a cycle of emotional isolation.

Suppressing emotions can also affect interpersonal relationships. In romantic partnerships, for instance, emotional suppression has been linked to decreased emotional well-being and relationship satisfaction. Partners may feel disconnected or unsupported, leading to further emotional distress.

Risky and Harmful Coping Mechanisms

When men avoid expressing emotions, they often turn to alternative outlets that can be damaging. Research available on PubMed shows a strong link between emotional suppression and behaviors such as substance abuse, aggression, and risk-taking. These actions may serve as temporary releases for bottled-up feelings, but they do not resolve underlying emotional distress. Instead, they increase the likelihood of long-term mental health issues and can lead to harmful cycles of avoidance and self-destruction.

Strain on Relationships

Emotional suppression also impacts how men connect with others. In close relationships, particularly romantic ones, avoiding emotional expression can lead to misunderstanding, emotional distance, and reduced satisfaction. Research available on PubMed found that emotional suppression can create emotional distance and hinder effective communication, leading to decreased relationship satisfaction. Partners may feel neglected or emotionally disconnected, which weakens trust and intimacy. Another study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Sage Journals found that habitual use of emotional suppression was linked to lower marital satisfaction and reduced emotional closeness.

Beyond romantic relationships, suppression can limit one’s ability to build strong social connections. A study published in the *American Journal of Men’s Health* has found that men who frequently suppress emotions are often perceived as less warm, receive less social support, and experience lower relationship quality overall. This isolation can deepen over time, reinforcing the urge to suppress and making it harder to seek help.

Delayed Care and Mental Health Decline

One of the most serious consequences of emotional suppression is the delay or avoidance of seeking help. Traditional masculinity often frames emotional vulnerability and therapy as signs of weakness. Because of this, many men fail to recognize or admit when they are struggling. This reluctance contributes to underdiagnosis of depression, untreated anxiety, and an increased risk of suicide. Research available on PubMed confirms that men are significantly less likely than women to seek professional support, even when they experience severe symptoms, according to research published in Preventative Medicine.

Why Is Seeking Help Hard?

Science and social research show there are real reasons why reaching out can feel so complicated, especially for men navigating today’s world.

Here’s what’s going on:

The Stigma Trap

Many of us grew up hearing that needing help means weakness. But research published in Psychological Medicine finds the opposite: Seeking support is one of the strongest, healthiest things you can do. Yet the old stigma still sticks, making it hard to admit when you’re struggling.

Old Norms Still Run the Show

Cultural expectations have taught guys to keep emotions locked down, “tough it out,” or handle things solo. Those ideas aren’t just outdated, they actively harm your mental health by blocking genuine connection and reducing access to support.

Not Recognizing What You’re Experiencing

Burnout, anxiety, and depression—these don’t always show up as dramatic moments. Sometimes it’s subtle, presenting as constant exhaustion, irritability, or just feeling “off.” If you don’t realize what you’re facing is a real issue, it’s easy to write it off or ignore it.

Fear of Judgment fromOthers and Yourself

It’s normal to worry about how friends, family, or coworkers will react if you open up. You might even judge yourself harshly. But research shows that vulnerability builds trust, connection, and resilience—things you actually want more of.

The Therapy Taboo

Despite the growing awareness of mental health issues, therapy remains a taboo for many men. A survey by the Priory Group found that 40% of men have never spoken to anyone about their mental health, and 29% feel "too embarrassed" to seek help. This reluctance is often rooted in the fear of being judged or perceived as weak.

Real Strength Is Asking for Help

Bottling things up isn’t working, and never really did. We’re unlearning the idea that being a man means being silent, stoic, or “toughing it out.” That version of masculinity? It’s outdated, and honestly, exhausting. Holding it in doesn’t make you stronger. It just makes you hurt longer.

But, change is happening.

Across the world, men are showing up differently. Programs like UNESCO’s Transforming MEN’talities and orgs like Equimundo are helping shift the culture, making space for men to feel, connect, and grow. They're proving that being emotionally fluent isn’t soft in the weak sense. It’s soft in the powerful, deeply human sense. It's what real resilience looks like.

We’re part of a generation that values openness, care, and community. We check on our friends. We talk about therapy. We know that being kind to yourself is brave. And that masculinity can, and should, include tenderness, empathy, and healing.

At Community Minds, we understand that breaking free from toxic masculinity takes more than just awareness, it takes access to care that actually gets it. That’s why we’ve built our services to meet you where you are. Whether it’s your first time reaching out or you’re ready to dive deeper, we offer same-day appointments, evening and weekend availability, and accept a wide range of insurance plans - because support should fit your life, not the other way around. Our diverse team of providers knows that mental health isn’t one-size-fits-all. We create judgment-free spaces where men can speak honestly, unpack emotional armor, and begin the work of healing, at their own pace. No shame. No stigma. No pressure to perform. Just real care. For the real you.